A Wise Woman Builds Her House

By April Jackson

When I got married many long years ago (forty-three to be exact) I looked forward to cooking, cleaning and caring for my husband and family if the Lord blessed us with children.  We had five children, so there were many busy times ahead.  I had no idea how important my place was in our home.  I thought I was just a wife and a mother.  What I did not realize, then, is how much my attitude and way of life would affect and contribute to building a strong, safe place where my husband and children could be nourished both naturally and spiritually.  Neither did I realise that I could also create a place of confusion (which, at times, I did).

There is a scripture that expresses what I have learnt and am still learning.  ‘Every wise woman builds her house but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.’  Proverbs 14:1.  This verse is obviously not speaking of the bricks and mortar of our houses but of the substance in our homes.  It seems there are many homes in turmoil for various reasons.  There are many factors we cannot control - such as job loss, financial pressures, some health issues, and just the stress of keeping pace.  But we do have the grace, as mothers, to bring peace in our homes. 

I can look back now and see times very clearly when I was not bringing peace and rest to our home.  Our third child was a Down Syndrome boy named Todd.  He was a great joy to our family, but he had a heart murmur from birth so his health wasn’t the best.  As he grew and got older his condition worsened.  When he was 23 he had to go on oxygen 24 hours a day.  I felt I had become his carer as well as his mother, as I had very little time away from him.  After about two years of hardly leaving the house I was feeling very sorry for myself and was hoping my situation would soon change.  I was doing my duty, but not with joy and peace, and my attitude was affecting the whole family.  I came to the realization one day that this was my life.  I could choose to bring anxiety, fear and self-centeredness to our home or I could accept who I was meant to be as a loving, caring mother, and thus bring life.  This was a wake-up call to me.  The Lord gave me some wisdom to build. 

What motivates a woman to tear down her own house?  None of us would want to do this, but we all need help from one another.  This is why we walk beside the young women to encourage, help, and teach in what is probably one of the most important “jobs” of all.  This generation is growing up with so many difficult challenges to face.  Having a home with a mother whose desire is to meet more than the family’s physical needs goes a long way to securing our young ones.  My journey has taught me it is possible to build wisely and join our husbands to see our homes on a solid foundation.  This is God’s desire for every home.